according to the last tutorial feedback, I am a little aware the older you are the wiser you are, the more respected to be given and there is always this barrier attached to it when it comes to communication.
so what can help me to tackle this issue? could be a game? in the game, give them the role, the game is to play that role of being someone else, and see how they act and how they interact and how they feel.
so I invited one of the stakeholder to play the game with her family, and then interview her feelings, Does the game really help communication? Can it overcome the barriers of power?
interview:
stakeholder feeling: Playing games can indeed strengthen the relationship between family member and make you temporarily forget about power and status. However, one thing is not good. When playing games, most of your energy is on the game, and you forget to communicate.
From the previous research, it was found that Protective type and Laissez-faire type lacked communication, and during the discussion, I found that in these two type family, there is usually a seating arrangement at the dining table. Their seats are arranged according to the family seat, but this is unconscious
In the other two types：Consensual and Pluralistic, they rarely have fixed seats, and they do not arrange seats according to family status. They communicate more with their family members, less conflicts, and have a good relationship with family members.
So I think the seat arrangement and family status and rights hinder the communication between children and parents to some extent, and Communication will be affected by power. If I want to promote communication between different generations, I must first make them aware of this problem. So how can we make people aware of this problem? This will be my next intervention
Next step and ideas:
My previous interventions focused on how to reduce the conflict between different generations, but I found that communication is a long-term process，this problem cannot be changed in the short term. And I also found that if two people disagree, you can hardly expect a decent response from the other person. Normally, he will defend himself and try to lead your thinking and judgments astray. A few months later, when the old words are brought up again, you will find that no one has changed their minds, as if the previous argument has never happened.
So in the next intervention, I will first throw a question or point of view to the other person, let him think or study carefully, don’t worry about asking the answer, let him digest it in his mind first, and challenge his original concept. ( inspired by the book: The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe)
I will design a dining table. This is not an ordinary dining table, but a dining table that can reflect the status of the family. I will place it downstairs in my house or in the park, so that people passing by can think about the meaning of the dining table, and interview their feelings. I will make the next intervention based on the feedback I get.
For my intervention, I invited one of my friends, she forced to blind date by her family, so far she attended fifth blind date, and I invited her to draw her life map related to her blind date, and choose a dating story into visual story(video), and then this video will be shared her parents, and her parents will create an ending for this story and share their feeling after watching this video. I also will share this video to other young and old generations to get more feedback.
PROCESS
FEEDBACK ONE:
FEEDBACK TWO:
FEEDBACK THREE:
FEEDBACK FOUR
REFLECTION
During the intervention, I found that it is difficult to engage parents to my project, specially some parents who force their child into marriage, they don’t want to share more opinion, so I think I should change my stakeholder and think about my backup plan, but I have no idea so far. I feel like this intervention is not very successful, because I hadn’t see any change from the parents, after the girl’s parents seeing the visual story, they still keep the old thought. From feedback I got, we can see that there are big different concept between young generation and old generation, and traditional concept is still spread among the boys.
she was forced by her parents to go on a blind date about five times, but she has not met a suitable person so far, and her parents said that she must marry this year, because they think 28 years old is old for women and the fortune teller said this year is her wedding year, and she is very troubled and does not know how to communicate with her parents. she think that It is impossible to meet the right person in this year, so she decided to move out instead living with her parents.
existing story 2:
name: waner chen age: 26 insurance
She has a boyfriend, but her parents are dissatisfied with her boyfriend, because the fortune teller said that her boyfriend has many female friends, and he is likely to cheat after getting married, so her parents want her daughter to break up with her boyfriend . She is very entangled now. On the one hand, she likes her boyfriend, on the other hand, she doesn’t want to go against her parents’ meaning, and she is also a little superstitious in fortune telling
existing story3:
name: dasen age: 29 medicine
He has a girlfriend, but his parents are not satisfied with his girlfriend because the fortune teller said that his girlfriend will bring bad luck to his family, but he insists on marrying his girlfriend. As a result, less than a month after the marriage, his father was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away two weeks later (his father was healthy and showed no signs of illness), and his father’s company also closed down.
I collected some existing story that can be used as a material in the intervention 1, and the next step I will invite them to make a map life and make a visual story to show their parents, and let their parents to make a story’s ending.
To gain a industry knowledge of drama therapy online, I reached out to experts, Monique. She is a drama therapist and do a lot of stuff on drama therapy online.
Beneficial feedback I got started that: masks and costumes as a technique in the digital space, mask work is a staple of drama therapy work. As Jennings states, “some feelings can only be expressed through masks-feelings that are too anti-social, dangerous or depressing to be shown in other ways. Masks can contain the feelings that could not otherwise be expressed” (1990, ch.6, para.33). It is my belief that the online drama therapy space presents us with unique opportunities to not only work with masks, but to allow the client to see themselves in role with an immediacy that does not often happen in-person.
For my intervention 2, I will use mask as a technique, drawing their mood on the mask and invite people wear their mask to communicate with other people, but can’t speak, only rely on body language, this will last for 5 days, 10 mins a day. Finally, observe whether they rely on the face to have better communication.
based on the last feedback, I continue to develop my interactive video, and I collected some real example in the real life, because real people and real example are more convincing.
here is three example:
example 1:
name: yuhui huang age: 28 fashion designer she was forced by her parents to go on a blind date about five times, but she has not met a suitable person so far, and her parents said that she must marry this year, because they think 28 years old is old for women and the fortune teller said this year is her wedding year, and she is very troubled and does not know how to communicate with her parents. she think that It is impossible to meet the right person in this year, so she decided to move out instead living with her parents.
example 2:
name: waner chen age: 26 insurance She has a boyfriend, but her parents are dissatisfied with her boyfriend, because the fortune teller said that her boyfriend has many female friends, and he is likely to cheat after getting married, so her parents want her daughter to break up with her boyfriend . She is very entangled now. On the one hand, she likes her boyfriend, on the other hand, she doesn’t want to go against her parents’ meaning, and she is also a little superstitious in fortune telling.
example 3:
name: dasen age: 29 medicine He has a girlfriend, but his parents are not satisfied with his girlfriend because the fortune teller said that his girlfriend will bring bad luck to his family, but he insists on marrying his girlfriend. As a result, less than a month after the marriage, his father was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away two weeks later (his father was healthy and showed no signs of illness), and his father’s company also closed down.
and I also did some research on psychology, and I found that one therapy is drama therapy. Drama therapy takes a unique approach by using drama or theater techniques, including improvisation, role-playing and so on… Drama therapy combines drama and psychotherapy methods to offer new ways to express what you are thinking or feeling in order to cope more effectively with behavioral and emotional problems
It is intended to help participants explore their inner experience and break them out of any rigid roles or frameworks they have been limiting themselves to. They can express themselves while sharing a new side to their personality
drama therapy can also benefit participants by providing them with the opportunity to:
Express their feelings Tell their story Act out/work out issues and problems Achieve emotional and physical integration Experience catharsis Develop trust Work out relationship issues Strengthen or expand their personal life roles
Role-Playing
Role-playing allows the participant to alter their mindset, act out in new ways, and connect their own experiences to those of another person.
Here’s an example: if you’re having significant conflict with your parents, you may be asked to role-play a scene in which you pretend to be your parents and speak from their perspective.
I think it can help people explore their inner experience and break them out of any rigid roles or frameworks they have been limiting themselves to.
I think drama therapy can help young generation to communicate with their parents better, and learn to look at problems from the other side’s perspective.
NEXT STEP:
I will show these real example to people and get some feedback from them, What they think of these example?
I will combine these example with drama therapy. How to apply these real example to drama therapy? What techniques in drama therapy?
Research on Understanding and Managing Generational Conflict
Research Question 1: What is the nature of generational conflict?
High tech vs. low tech.
Technology is “the one big gap” between generations, and in fact, this generational difference was reported by nearly every participant. Younger interviewees noted frustration (and decreased communication and efficiency) because they perceived older individuals as reluctant to embrace or leverage technology such as texting. Some older interviews, on the other hand, noted that younger generations seemingly undervalue traditional ways of doing work because they take technology for granted.
Skilled vs. unskilled communication.
The final perceived generational difference that leads to behavior-based tension centers on differing perceptions by both generations about the extent to which they and members of the other generation communicate in a skilled way. Older interviewees perceived a lack of skills in younger generations, often reporting frustration with younger generations’ inability to communicate. Older interviewees suggested that problematic communication skills in the younger generation included an inability to transmit or interpret messages effectively and a lack of tact in interactions. In the older sample’s view, this “unskilled” communication results in workplace challenges such as inefficiencies, conflict, unclear messages, and a lack of transmission of information. Some of the older sample members attributed these challenges to how younger generations learned to communicate, as noted in the quote below. The communication skills of some of the younger people that I meet on a weekly basis are absolutely nil. There are absolutely no communication skills because they learn how to communicate via Twitter and talk in abbreviated words and abbreviated sentences. So if I had to communicate for any length of time with someone in their 20s, I probably couldn’t. On the other hand, “skilled” communication meant something altogether different to members of the younger sample. They viewed the skilled vs. unskilled generational differences as arising from the older generation’s failure to adapt to contemporary media. Tension is illustrated through a breakdown in communication causing frustration and major challenges in interactions, so much so that the message of communication is lost or misunderstood. Potential communication barriers between generations can result from this tension, as can be seen in the quote above in which, the interviewee perceives he is unable to communicate with “younger people.”
Me vs. we.
The first identity-based generational difference, me vs. we, refers to differences in how members of generations perceived they (and other generations) gave priority to personal identity or a collective identity. In the personality literature, Triandis and colleagues (1985) have described differences between idiocentric and allocentric personality traits. Idiocentrics emphasize personal goals, views, needs, pleasures and beliefs over those of others, while allocentrics emphasize shared beliefs and perceive themselves as similar to, and pay attention to, others (Triandis, et al., 1985). The samples we studied described generations in similar ways. An example of a more allocentric or “we” view is illustrated in this quote.
I think that the older generation gets it more than the younger generation…the new generation is all about “me” and how I’m going to be successful and the old generation is how we’re all going to be successful.
This younger interviewee points out a distinction in generations in the extent to which “me” or “we” is prioritized, describing the “new” generation more idiocentrically as “all about me” and the “old” generation more allocentrically as focusing on shared success.
Research Question 2: What strategies use to manage generational conflict?
Focusing on communication style.
The strategy of focusing on communication style includes a conscious choice by interviewees to portray a respectful demeanor when communicating, use communication channels preferred by other generations (e.g., face-to-face, phone, or email), or, as noted below, focus on language usage.
My attitude with the younger generation—fortunately, I know the vernacular because I have children and I do interact with them well and I have grandchildren and I do interact with them well. So I know the current stars. You can relate. Sometimes if you just throw out a ‘Did you see so-and-so on MTV’ whatever, you take away that gap.
The older interviewee here describes using the language she picked up from her younger family members when interacting with younger coworkers. In much the same way that using organizational vernacular allows an outsider to fit in a culture (Louis, 1980), using generational vernacular allows a member of one generation to ease conflict with a member of another generation. Several interviewees also reported adjusting the medium through which they communicated with members of another generation. For example, younger interviewees made a point to use phone (rather than texting) to communicate with older generation employees at work. By adjusting their communication style, these younger generation members helped overcome the behavior-based conflict arising from perceptions of communication skill.
Protecting needs.
Interviewees noted that they interacted with other generations in such a way that they ensured their own desires and wants were being met. In the example below, an interviewee from a younger generation reports trying to get his way with other generations in advancing an initiative that he feels is important.
One of the things I try to focus on when I’m implementing something like that is: ‘How am I freeing their time to do what I want them (an older generation) to do or to take a look at what I want them to take a look at? Sometimes, that’s the hardest part.
From this quote, we can see the interviewee protecting his self-interests by ensuring that the older person is does “what I want them to do” or notices the initiative that he feels is important. In this case, the interviewee actively manipulates the older generation member’s time in order to get his way, thereby lessening the chance of conflict. In our interviews, participants also noted that they protected their needs by “using” others in such ways as building support for ideas by using workplace politics, leveraging their formal authority in interactions to push their personal agenda, and venting or complaining about conflict to others.
Removing self.
Research Question 3:Influences on Interactions
Situational contexts help set generational stereotypes and expectations that individuals have for their own generation and other generations; these stereotypes and expectations, in turn, influence their perceptions. Interviewees draw on these contexts as they engage in conflict with others of various generations in the workforce. Following table provides additional descriptions of the contexts, as well as quotes to illustrate them.
Societal context
Many interviewees noted that they were influenced by broad societal trends, such as the media and general political, economic, and societal events. Interviewees (including the one quoted in the epigraph) noted being influenced by broad discourses in popular media. The way that generations are discussed in popular culture served as a resource to some interviewees in forming their own understanding of generations. As the quote below illustrates, individuals draw on media descriptions and portrayals of other generations to set expectations for what members of that particular generation are like, thereby influencing the conflicts that emerge.
I think the labeling of generation is media driven so that it gives the media a shorthand to report on various and sundry societal kinds of trends and also news stories and things like that. I think the media is the one who came up with the (generational) labels that are used, or at least they popularized the labels that are being used.
According to this interviewee and others, older generations have a stigma against younger generations (and vice versa) as a result of how various generations are portrayed and labeled by the media. Younger interviewees reported being affected by media portrayals of young people as opportunistic, materialistic, and self-centered, while older interviewees noted being affected by media-perpetuated images of old fogies who are stubborn and resistant to change. Both samples mentioned that these media images likely affected how the other generation viewed them and the lack of respect shown them by other generations.
My project: How to handle the conflict on marriage and love views between two generations?
Taking on the feedback from tutors (David and Jasminka ), matchmaker is a key person that have power to talk with parents, so I started to interview with matchmaker that I could use as primary research to support my project.
Describe your job as a matchmaker.
Agent A: It’s a very happy job because I develop very personal friendships with my clients. They are very open with their stories and share their own problems and life purposes. It takes a lot of skill to build trust in a short amount of time. I would like to think that we would be friends outside the matchmaking sphere.
Agent B: As a matchmaker, we work closely with our singles to learn more about their preferences. What kind of profile, physical and personality preferences do they have? This includes age, education level, religion, ethnicity, smoking and drinking habits, height and build. And personality preferences would include characteristics such as introverted vs. extroverted, spontaneous vs. organised, etc… We meet every one of our clients for face-to-face consultations and this matchmaker’s assessment is very important, because sometimes how clients perceive themselves may be different from how others perceive them. We also take the time to find out about our clients’ past relationships, passions, values and what is most important to them.
What types of people do you think use matchmaking agencies the most?
Agent A: My clients are usually professionals: bankers, lawyers, doctors, entrepreneurs or executives. I would say the quality of the people in my agency is quite high.
Agent B: People who are busy. People who have no time to get a drink, people who live generally further from bars or restaurants, or people whose social circles are less defined. And parents also help their child to find their partner through matchmaking agencies.
Are there more available women that seek to find a partner or more available men? If so, why do you think there is a gender imbalance?
Agent A:One reason is that in the past, marriage is seen as a way to financial stability for women. However, with more and more ladies being highly educated and doing well in their careers, marriage is no longer about financial stability. They are looking for someone who is on the same level as them in terms of education level as well as income. There’s a phenomenon known as the “education squeeze”, coined by sociologists. Women tend to marry up and men tend to marry down. Hence, if you put 100 men and 100 women together and ask them to pair up, at the end of the day, the two groups left: the top 20 percent most educated women, and the bottom 20 percent least educated men.
Is there a stigma against going to a matchmaker or to speed-dating events to find a partner?
Agent A: When we first started 12 years ago, there used to be a stigma. But now, we are living in an era where people are used to outsourcing things. For instance, when we are going on a trip, we look for a travel agency; when we are looking for a job, we turn to a recruitment agency. So it’s the same with singles who are looking to find love. And as they see that our database has successful professionals just like you and me, they are more open to turning to dating agencies.
How involved are matchmakers?
Agent A: We are there for our clients every step of the way, from meeting them first to learning more about their profile and preferences, handpicking their matches, arranging the date, booking the date venue, reminding our clients before the date, and contacting them at the end of every date to get their feedback. Clients will also call us to ask for dating tips or advice and we will help them in any way we can.
Have you ever met someone who was forced by their parents to go on a blind date?
Agent A: Many young people are forced to date by real pressure and their parents at the beginning. Although they are forced to date, they also will call us for dating tips and advice on dating, and we will help them, which shows that they still attach great importance to the blind date. Although they are forced by parents, they really want to find their soul mate, but maybe they don’t agree with their parents’ behavior.
Today in china, many people find themselves too busy to pursue romantic relationships on their own. This is a very worrying trend for their parents, so in order to combat this, some parents have decided to write down their children’s information and romantic requirements on pieces of paper and bring these pieces of paper to parks located through out China, in order to form an off-line personalised match making service with other children’s parents.
China is clearly one of the world’s favorite countries for forced marriages. According to the “Survey Report on the Status of Forced Marriage in China” released in 2016, more than 70% of the respondents had the experience of being forced into marriage by their parents. The rate of forced marriage among young people aged 25 to 35 is as high as 86%, and even 3% of young people are forced to marry by their parents before they reach the legal marriage age.
Outline the Question
Intervention
• do the experiment
—attend the dating corner (the same person but different salaries) and communicate with parents who in the dating corner and look at how parents react to high or low salary.
In aiming to distinguish who the stakeholders involved in the change I am looking to make are, I split my stakeholders into 2 categories. The first being ‘Experts’ in the arena of matchmaking in the marriage market. The second category being ‘User’ this is looking at the young people who are qualified to enter marriage or are about to enter marriage and parents who force their children to marry.
Young people
Parents
Matchmaking practitioners : matchmaker / agent for dating corner / agent for dating apps / agent for dating TV show
