according to the last tutorial feedback, I am a little aware the older you are the wiser you are, the more respected to be given and there is always this barrier attached to it when it comes to communication.
so what can help me to tackle this issue? could be a game? in the game, give them the role, the game is to play that role of being someone else, and see how they act and how they interact and how they feel.
so I invited one of the stakeholder to play the game with her family, and then interview her feelings, Does the game really help communication? Can it overcome the barriers of power?
interview:
stakeholder feeling: Playing games can indeed strengthen the relationship between family member and make you temporarily forget about power and status. However, one thing is not good. When playing games, most of your energy is on the game, and you forget to communicate.
From the previous research, it was found that Protective type and Laissez-faire type lacked communication, and during the discussion, I found that in these two type family, there is usually a seating arrangement at the dining table. Their seats are arranged according to the family seat, but this is unconscious
In the other two types：Consensual and Pluralistic, they rarely have fixed seats, and they do not arrange seats according to family status. They communicate more with their family members, less conflicts, and have a good relationship with family members.
So I think the seat arrangement and family status and rights hinder the communication between children and parents to some extent, and Communication will be affected by power. If I want to promote communication between different generations, I must first make them aware of this problem. So how can we make people aware of this problem? This will be my next intervention
Next step and ideas:
My previous interventions focused on how to reduce the conflict between different generations, but I found that communication is a long-term process，this problem cannot be changed in the short term. And I also found that if two people disagree, you can hardly expect a decent response from the other person. Normally, he will defend himself and try to lead your thinking and judgments astray. A few months later, when the old words are brought up again, you will find that no one has changed their minds, as if the previous argument has never happened.
So in the next intervention, I will first throw a question or point of view to the other person, let him think or study carefully, don’t worry about asking the answer, let him digest it in his mind first, and challenge his original concept. ( inspired by the book: The Skeptics’ Guide to the Universe)
I will design a dining table. This is not an ordinary dining table, but a dining table that can reflect the status of the family. I will place it downstairs in my house or in the park, so that people passing by can think about the meaning of the dining table, and interview their feelings. I will make the next intervention based on the feedback I get.
At first, I understood that communication is the exchange and transmission of information. It was not until I read the book “Shared Experiences in Human Communication” that I could really understand the process of re-understanding communication from a very basic level.
reflection
The following is my reflection after reading this book：
The concept of communication encompasses the process by which all people influence each other.
How different communication methods will reflect different person relationships.
Non-verbal communication basically defines the interpersonal relationship between each other.
Although language can be used to communicate almost everything, nonverbal responses only have a relatively limited range of communication. Nonverbal responses are often used to communicate feelings, preferences and preferences, and to emphasize or refute to correct those feelings communicated with language. Non-verbal communication can superimpose another layer of meaning on top of verbal information.
When interpersonal communication forces participants to accept the pressure of interacting with the future, interpersonal communication is destructive, because it makes participants more vulnerable; when interpersonal communication only enhances the spread of information does not affect the value and attitude behind people When interpersonal communication is neutral; when interpersonal communication is regarded as curative, it means that it inspires an individual’s insight into or readjustment to the world, and it allows people to carry out future developments in a more satisfying way. Social interaction.
Intentional and unintentional communication. A lot of our daily communication is consciously motivated. For example, if we want to impress in front of a special person, we will change into carefully selected clothes when we go out. However, we have learned from the advertisements selling toothpaste and mouthwash. Although exquisite clothes can convey a good impression, bad breath and unclean teeth will still unintentionally reveal their less satisfactory side. . Unintentional communication is undoubtedly the most maddening communication method, because you will not receive corrective feedback from others. When we are well-dressed but still unable to date the person we like, we will feel very confused, but in fact this is not due to the clothes
From my first intervention （friend’s experience on blind dates）, I found that many boys’ thinking is still very traditional, and a large part of it is influenced by their parents. We can see that there are big different concept between young generation and old generation, and traditional concept is still spread among the boys. Men’s and women’s thinking are still different, so why don’t girls? Is it because of the feminism in recent years? and the society’s requirements for women’s status are getting higher and higher? so I might consider adding feminism to my intervention.
From the last week, I looked for some what other medium exist and looked at example from around the world that what are other people doing, what other organisations doing. I did some research on jewellery brand, beauty brand and some TV reality show related to arrange marriages.
I found that some jewellery brands have gone from the initial concept of “diamonds are forever, a diamond will last forever, and a lifetime of happiness” to the present “couples in love may get married, or they may choose not to get married.” This means that although feminism and celibacy are on the rise. The De Beers report pointed out that although Chinese women’s purchase of diamond products at their own expense is on the rise, diamonds are still the most luxurious gift that Chinese women want to receive. On the one hand, they are willing to pay for their own pockets, and on the other hand they do not reject the multiple psychology of receiving diamond jewelry gifts. As the divorce rate increases, the lonely single society is likely to generate more demands for true love.
From the current point of view, some successful cases of brands are still more focused on the problem itself. For example, the “Marriage Market” short film launched by Japanese high-end skin care brand SK-II last year showed a new generation of Chinese women’s views on marriage and love, such as “I don’t want to get married for marriage, that would not be happy”, and detonated social media. In the process of constantly testing the water temperature, the commercial market has been quite tolerant of the values of women’s empowerment, “this will encourage brands to be more brave.”
I am also watching some dating TV show related to arranged marriages, like TOO HOT TOO HANDLE, LOVE TO BLIND, DATING AROUND, and some chinese dating reality show .
NEXT STEP:
do more research on academic resources can relate to what I am doing, use theories to construct my intervention.
look at example from around the world that what are other people doing what are organisations doing charities, and what other mediums exist.
This is my small intervention 1, I used mask as a technique, drawing their mood on the mask and wear their mask to communicate with other people, but can’t speak, only rely on body language, this lasted for 4 days. Finally, observe whether they rely on the mask to have better communication.
FEEDBACK
after the intervention, I got some feedback and their feelings from participants:
at the beginning, they were unfamiliar, and a little embarrassed;
if don’t draw something on the mask, it’s difficult to express(without the help of the drawing, they don’t know how to express)
they can basically understand each other’s meaning, but there is also a slight deviation in the details
can’t feel the other person’s mood
without training, it is difficult to express with body language
REFLECTION
In the beginning, for my small intervention 1 and 2. Before the experiment, I think that communication and attractiveness are important, but I started to forget this in the following steps. I used mask as a technique, though it resolves a little embarrassment, it also increase the difficulty of communication. There are few information acquisition channels for online communication, a lot of interactive information is hidden, and it is difficult to feel the other’s person mood. And I found that if you want to increase the sense of communication and interaction, the content and process of communication will become more complicated. So how to make my project creative and interactive and not just like an only solution for temporary something I need to think more about in the future.
based on the last feedback, I continue to develop my interactive video, and I collected some real example in the real life, because real people and real example are more convincing.
here is three example:
example 1:
name: yuhui huang age: 28 fashion designer she was forced by her parents to go on a blind date about five times, but she has not met a suitable person so far, and her parents said that she must marry this year, because they think 28 years old is old for women and the fortune teller said this year is her wedding year, and she is very troubled and does not know how to communicate with her parents. she think that It is impossible to meet the right person in this year, so she decided to move out instead living with her parents.
example 2:
name: waner chen age: 26 insurance She has a boyfriend, but her parents are dissatisfied with her boyfriend, because the fortune teller said that her boyfriend has many female friends, and he is likely to cheat after getting married, so her parents want her daughter to break up with her boyfriend . She is very entangled now. On the one hand, she likes her boyfriend, on the other hand, she doesn’t want to go against her parents’ meaning, and she is also a little superstitious in fortune telling.
example 3:
name: dasen age: 29 medicine He has a girlfriend, but his parents are not satisfied with his girlfriend because the fortune teller said that his girlfriend will bring bad luck to his family, but he insists on marrying his girlfriend. As a result, less than a month after the marriage, his father was diagnosed with leukemia and passed away two weeks later (his father was healthy and showed no signs of illness), and his father’s company also closed down.
and I also did some research on psychology, and I found that one therapy is drama therapy. Drama therapy takes a unique approach by using drama or theater techniques, including improvisation, role-playing and so on… Drama therapy combines drama and psychotherapy methods to offer new ways to express what you are thinking or feeling in order to cope more effectively with behavioral and emotional problems
It is intended to help participants explore their inner experience and break them out of any rigid roles or frameworks they have been limiting themselves to. They can express themselves while sharing a new side to their personality
drama therapy can also benefit participants by providing them with the opportunity to:
Express their feelings Tell their story Act out/work out issues and problems Achieve emotional and physical integration Experience catharsis Develop trust Work out relationship issues Strengthen or expand their personal life roles
Role-Playing
Role-playing allows the participant to alter their mindset, act out in new ways, and connect their own experiences to those of another person.
Here’s an example: if you’re having significant conflict with your parents, you may be asked to role-play a scene in which you pretend to be your parents and speak from their perspective.
I think it can help people explore their inner experience and break them out of any rigid roles or frameworks they have been limiting themselves to.
I think drama therapy can help young generation to communicate with their parents better, and learn to look at problems from the other side’s perspective.
NEXT STEP:
I will show these real example to people and get some feedback from them, What they think of these example?
I will combine these example with drama therapy. How to apply these real example to drama therapy? What techniques in drama therapy?
The process of discovering ‘The Change I Want to See’ took a personal shift in Project Five, from dating corner to generation gap.
After did some research on generational conflict and techniques that mediator use, I think the best conflict solution is the way of communication. Adjusting their communication style is a method to reduce conflict. I think they need a mediator, someone they respect, maybe a close family, friend or relative or online platform. Come from a place of wanting to be understand each other better rather than proving that parent wrong.
The medium of communication is very important. There are two mediums that I think are feasible.
Matchmaker (face to face support interventions for reducing conflict) set up a counseling in the dating app or dating website.
online platform (digital interventions targeting parents and child relationships) watching the interactive movie with parents.
The goal of conflict resolution therapy is to help all parties involved feel as if they have achieved a “win-win” scenario, but it is difficult to do, because parents and children have cognitive biases, my challenge is to challenge traditional attitude, the position of this project is to help the person being in a position to get married, make the right decision and to not be forced into making the wrong decision. And I found that there are not many platform to deal with the generation conflict, most of the platform focus on couple relationship, so it is also very difficult to make study case.
In order to guide the focus of my research further, the following three aspect that I think I should consider in this project in the future.
understand what is the need behind the conflict between the two sides.(No one wants to conflict for the sake of conflict. The reason why the conflict cannot be resolved is probably because some of the needs of the conflicting party have been ignored, such as respect, love, and attention. If you want to stay entangled in conflicting content, these content may be longer than any Qiong Yao novel, and you may never find its central idea.)
Ensure a platform where both parties to the conflict are safe and can receive support.(Let both parties relax, feel comfortable, and get help from the process. Don’t let the process of conflict resolution turn into a trial meeting. No one is willing to spend a minute at a meeting that criticizes oneself.)
Let the conflicting parties use specific and executable language to express their needs and requests to the other party (You can’t make everyone think that “the women is the most beautiful” because everyone’s perceptions and standards are different, so if you say, “Bring me something good!”, someone might give you a cup of urine, because some people think that this is delicious! If you don’t want others to bring you a glass of urine, try to be specific. “Give me a glass of orange juice.”, “I think you can go home straight after get off work.”…
In relation to stakeholders, I initially identified 3 key stakeholder groups, the first being experts(dating agent) and the second being users(parents), the third being users(young generations). As my project has progressed, I have moved onto defining further to be government. Gaining stakeholder feedback is something I have struggled with on this project, I interviewed with the person who forced to blind date by her parents, and also interviewed with matchmaker who work in the dating corner, but received very little feedback. Consequently, stakeholder engagement is something I really need to extensively work on over the coming weeks.
after did some research on generational conflict and techniques that mediator use, I think the best conflict solution is the way of communication. Adjusting their communication style is a method to reduce conflict. I think they need a mediator, someone they respect, maybe a close family, friend or relative or online platform. Come from a place of wanting to be understand each other better rather than proving that parent wrong.
The medium of communication is very important. There are two mediums that I think are feasible.
Matchmaker (face to face support interventions for reducing conflict)
online platform (digital interventions targeting parents and child relationships)
After presenting my research for Project 5 – The Change I Want To See… in my tutorial, I have developed a series of next steps to take, as a result of analysing and reflecting on the feedback I received.
FEEDBACK
They are interested in people’s attitude for the difference in attitude. young people and parents whoever is a versatile narrative narrowed to their parents term of their view o love, what they think love is what, whether or not there is an overriding practical concern. Whether loving considered important at all, in regards to matchmaking, and it seems that the key person, or the key stakeholder or the key bridge in my project is the matchmaker, because they are the intermediary, that gets to speak to both parties. The two people who are being matched, it seems to me that my challenge is one to do with challenging traditional attitudes, there will be a group of people who may be value those more traditional more conservative, and then there will be those who freedom to choose for themselves, whatever path there is, but then I have this kind of societal barrier, and it’s gonna be interesting in terms of how to deal with unpacking.
They suggest that look at a specialism, that might help, and also explore counselling and the techniques that counsellors use mediation and the techniques that mediators use when dealing with conflict and dealing with different groups, Because I think from what you’re saying, the mediation element, or the Matchmaker is probably the most important person in all of this. I have the wishes of the of the LP, that want to get married on the other wishes parent, but the Matchmaker is key, because the method could be the person with the power to say to the parents, the thing is that whatever decisions the parents want to make, traditional, conservative values whatever is the people getting married that has consequences. So there is an argument that they are the most important people, because they have to live whatever decision is made. And if it’s the wrong decision, they are going to have to pay for it, emotionally, physically in terms of time and effort. So, it might be that my project is more about getting the parents and the older generation to understand the younger generation, maybe it’s more weighted in favour of the people who have to live with the decision.
This project has come from my focus I possibly should be helping married people or the person being in a position to get married, make the right decision and to not be forced into making the wrong decision. And the project is focused around that possibly understanding around that. Trying to get the people who are being pressured to understand the position that they already lived in, in terms of societal context that they’re in. Before to do something that will have a devastating impact on their lives, Potentially. I think I would possibly focus on the matchmaking element of it as possibly the ethical intermediary sort of decision making position as the person who speaks to both sides to help with that.
NEXT STEPS:
Further engage with stakeholders how to plan to get the parents, child, marriage choice, or objections, and how to get people to engage with the older generation their parents whose point of view?
Explore counselling and the techniques to deal with conflict
Focus on matchmaker and explore how to reduce the conflict through matchmaker?
Consider the position of my project as a researcher, where are my positioned in my project? In terms of the people getting married, the parents to view and the matchmaker, where do I see myself?
